Grammar Lesson of the Week*

*Today's lesson is regarding the pronunciation of some of the wonderful words found in our language, and is not necessarily related to a definite grammar rule.

 

1)  Specific.  Say it with me, "SPA-SI-FICK".  Specific.  The definition of which is "definite or exact."  It's not pronounced "pacific", like in the Pacific Ocean.  There is a "S" before the "pacific" part of the word.

 

2)  Sword.  Say it with me, "S-ORD".  Sword.  The "W" is silent.  And you should be too, if you're going to pronounce the "W".  You look like a dipshit.

3)  Salmon.  Say it with me, "SAM-MON".  Salmon.  Like "sword", this word has a silent letter.  It's not "SAL-MON" it's "SAM-MON".  Is English your first language?  Because if it is, you should know better, or at the very least, get out the fucking dictionary and learn to pronounce words properly.

 

4)  Escape.  Say it with me, "ES-CAPE".  Escape.  It's not "EX-cape".  There's no "ex" sound in it.  Please take an English class if you keep misprouncing these words.  Please for the love of everything that is holy.

 

And for #5, we have one that is near and dear to my heart:

 

Alzheimer's.  Say it with me, people:  "ALLS-HEIMERS".  Not "al-timers" or any other butchering of this word.  It is near and dear to my heart because my mother mispronounces this word EVERY CHANCE SHE GETS.  I've even corrected her numerous times.  And when I say "numerous" I mean more than I can count, and she CONTINUES TO MISPRONOUNCE THIS MOTHER-FUCKING WORD.  Am I bothered by it?  What do you think?

Grammar Lesson of the Week

This week's grammar lesson concerns the difference between their, there, and they're.  I was reminded of this little problem when viewing the status of one of my friends on Facebook:

"I love the commercial that tells me how great england national healthcare is. then you find out it is the U.S.A. sending them there. quipment. to help save the preemie babies. if we get rid of our healthcare who is going to send us quipment. just saying"

Now, besides the obvious spelling errors ("quipment"), and the error of not capitalizing "england", my friend here (who, by the way, is a 42-year-old man) is trying to say the USA is sending equipment to England to help save the English preemie babies.  As you can see, he says "then you find out it is the U.S.A. sending them there quipment", when he really means THEIR EQUIPMENT.

Here are the proper definitions of there, their, and they're:

There (adverb):  in or on that place (such as "over there")
Their (adjective):  of or relating to them or themselves especially as possessors, agents, or objects of an action (such as "their furniture" or THEIR EQUIPMENT)
They're:  this is a contraction of "they are"

You're welcome.  Now, if only I could help my friend on Facebook from further humiliation in his grammar and spelling.  I would kill him if he was my husband (even though I'm sure he's a nice person).  Especially considering English is his FIRST FUCKING LANGUAGE.

Grammar Lesson of the Week

I was an English major in college.  Therefore, grammar (and its brother, correct spelling) are very important to me.  Recently, I was reminded of one of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to grammar:  the possessive apostrophe.  It is a relatively simple rule, but I believe it is mystifying to many, many people.

When showing a possessive form of a singular noun, it is proper to use an apostrophe before the "s". 

Examples:

Michael's car (not Michaels car, or Michaels' car)
a hard day's work
the basket's handle

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, SHOULD YOU USE AN APOSTROPHE TO SHOW THE PLURAL OF A NOUN.  Such as here:

Whenever I see mistakes like the ones above, I die a little inside.  Now, go forth and use apostrophes appropriately!  You're welcome.  

Graph Jam

My friend, SG has a blog. I was checking it today and ran across the website, http://graphjam.com/ that has songs, sayings, bits of life -- all graphed in funny ways. Here's one that makes me think of one of my pet peeves -- bad grammar. I guess the geeky English major in me will NEVER DIE!



more graph humor and song chart memes