My Birthday Blew Fat-Ass Chunks (Mostly)

Here are the things that sucked about my birthday:

Husband bought me lame gifts. For the record, it was a video game (which I never play) and some body lotion from Bath and Body Works. It wasn't even a gift set, they were two random aromatherapy scents.

The karaoke celebration I had planned, ended abruptly at 11pm when Shannon wanted to leave. She wanted to leave because there was a guy a the bar hitting on her and she didn't want him hanging around her all night. They exchanged numbers and whatever. She acted weird on the ride home and I discovered she had taken several Xanax earlier in the night which accounted for her weird behavior. Oh, and I had to pay for my own drinks because she was broke. Which, I'm sorry if I sound like a bitch -- then we should not have gone out and waited until you could pay the $15 for my drinks. I'm a lightweight, and after 3 drinks, I'm flying high, so it's not like I'm going to break the bank when it comes to footing my bar tab. And in Shannon's defense, she did give me a really kick-ass birthday present, so it's not all bad. But who goes home from the bar at 11??? I was expecting to get Shit-Faced and stroll in at 3am.

I had to work on my birthday.

I didn't get laid. Um...not that I wanted to. Just saying.


Here are the things that were relatively great when it came to my Birthday:

My mom called me and actually sang "Happy Birthday" to me on my way to work. It was cute.

I got a birthday card in the mail from Laura on my Birthday. Thanks for remembering and being a great friend, girl.

Daughter made me a birthday card. When you opened it, it said "I (heart) U Mommy". Best birthday card ever.

The aromatherapy scented lotion from Husband were the "Sleep" scent, and the "Sensual" scents. Which I realized were pretty thoughtful because he knows I love to sleep and sometimes have a hard time falling asleep/staying asleep, and well, the "Sensual" I can only guess was for him. *wink*

The video game was for "Harvey Birdman: Attorney-at-law" which was a really funny cartoon on the Cartoon Network about a very inept attorney. *insert bad lawyer joke here*

*sigh*


I also made a Birthday Resolution this year: I've decided to start lying about my age. I have a very young looking face and now is the time to capitalize on it. So from now on, I'm 32. I decided shaving 6 years off was realistic. And fuck off if you don't think so...let me have my mid-life crisis in fantasyland. It's not like I'm going to get a 25-year-old boyfriend, divorce my husband, and start driving a sports car or something? Right? Right?

Tomorrow is My Birthday...Thought You Should Be Forewarned

I'm a Leo, Dammit.

Hear My Mighty Roar.

My Birthday Better Kick Ass.

Raar.

Birthday Updates to Come...

Happy Birthday to Me

Yeah...not really. I'm not in the Mood.

Today I am another year older. Last night I nearly had a nervous breakdown (not really, but go with me on this for a minute) at the thoughts of what this past year has given me, and at the thought of what I want this new year to bring me.

So in no particular order, here is what My 36th year gave me:

1. I took the bar exam (twice)

2. I got fired from my job and lost a good friend in the process (or at least I thought she was a good friend)

3. I nearly called it quits on my marriage

4. I got into a car accident

Sorry -- I can't think of anything positive that I got out of 36. And here is what I am hoping that 37 brings me:

1. Passing the bar exam (and hopefully, not having to take that exam YET AGAIN)

2. A fabu new job that gives me more time to spend with my family, a sense of satisfaction, and preferably, one that I can either do out of my house or at least close to it

3. Sticking to a new exercise/diet plan (excuse me, "healthy lifestyle")

I am also spending a lot of time thinking about getting older. I went to the eye doctor last week to get checked out and I was telling the doctor how I have a little bit of trouble reading small print -- and believe me, that was hard enough saying out loud, because I definitely do not want to have to wear bifocals...ugh. Anyway, she said something to the effect that usually that type of thing starts to happen at 40 and I'm a little too young for it to start now...and her saying that felt like a slap in the face because I am closer to 40 now than 30, and it just sort of freaked me out. And don't get me wrong, it's not that I think 40 is OLD or something, because I don't, I just never thought of myself as being a 40-year-old. I mean -- think about it. It's totally throwing me for a loop. I can't wait to see the nervous breakdown I have when I actually DO turn 40. It should be an interesting birthday, that's for sure.

I don't know why I am being such a douchebag about this whole birthday thing. I always loved celebrating my birthday, why is this year so different? My birthday was always my favorite day of the year -- the one day of the year that was all about ME. The focus was on me and how fabulous I am. This year, I just want to crawl under a rock. Why? I wish I had an answer.

One of the things that made me the saddest was going to the mailbox today and the only birthday card that was there was one from Art Van -- "come buy some furniture, and here's a birthday coupon!" But I know that my family and friends will all give me a card when I see them, but somehow that logic didn't matter when I went through the mail. WTF is wrong with me today? I think I am going to get drunk at my birthday dinner with my family tonight. Nothing like a few cocktails to make you feel better, right???