Soon To Be Living Life On The Dole

Goddammit. I noticed that my last blog post was on November 13, and now, 10 days later, I haven’t posted. Well, technically, this is a post, but you must realize that I had the thought about not posting before I posted.

If you’re still with me after that doozie of a sentence, I am writing to say that I haven’t written because I haven’t felt all that inspired to do so. A lot has changed in the last 10 days, and so the perpetual black cloud that seems to hide behind every corner is back, ready to take a nice, steaming shit all over my mood. To catch you up –

Riding the high of passing the Bar exam sure didn’t last very long. I found out last Monday that I am once again, losing my job. My last day at this job is November 23. MERRY CHRISTMAS! Welcome to Unemployment!

Husband says I should write a thank you note to my current boss, telling her how much I enjoyed working here and whatever happy horseshit I can work into the letter. You know--make it a proper ass-kissing letter. The mood I am in today – here’s how the letter would go:

Dear Boss:

Thank you so much for providing me the opportunity to get my hopes up into thinking that this company could be a place where I could set some roots. You have no idea how much I appreciate knowing that despite the fact that you acted like you wanted to mentor me, saying you wanted to be “like a mentor” apparently means that you were going to shit-can me as soon as possible. 
Thank you also for releasing me from this position just in time for me to “celebrate” the holiday season with my family. I am so glad I am not going to have any money for Christmas presents this year – thankfully, my daughter will think Santa Claus is the asshole for the sparse appearance of Christmas presents and not me (I truly thank you for that!).

I also would like to thank you for all of the constructive criticism you provided me while working here. Since I am leaving, I am going to probably forget everything you said since I will have no where to apply my new knowledge – so basically, you wasted your time (and mine!)

Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to drive 100 miles round trip everyday to a job. I really loved getting to know the City of Livonia and its neighboring cities of Plymouth and Northville. Oh, and nevermind all of the miles I put on my leased vehicle, all of the money I spent on gas, and getting rear-ended a few weeks ago.  Those were bonuses!

Thank you for allowing me to sit on my ass at home while I collect unemployment through the winter (no snowy rush hour drives)!  I know the unemployment checks will be nowhere near what I was making at this job, but at least I will be getting paid for doing nothing – except sleeping in and watching talk shows (especially The Maury Show with its paternity and lie detector tests--WHOOPIE)!  I see that my dedication has been richly rewarded. Just goes to show me that persistence, hard work and dedication ultimately pays off!

Oh one last thing -- here's a big FUCK YOU.  I'm running over to the supply closet right after I type this so I can steal as many highlighters, pens and pencils as my purse will hold.  Tomorrow, I'm bringing a bigger purse.

With Warm Regards,
Me

Two Months and Counting...

Technically, it's been a little over 2 months now that I've been among the unemployed. I say "technically" because I lost my job in mid-July, and spent the remainder of July studying for the Bar like my life depended on it. The exam was July 29th and 30th. Then I spent the next couple of weeks taking short summer vacations and enjoying the beautiful weather. So, what I'm saying, is that I spent about a month not really focusing on Finding a Job.

Which means, for the last month or so, I really have been focusing on finding a job. And having absolutely NO LUCK whatsoever. I don't know what the problem is exactly. Is there too many unemployed and not enough jobs? Am I overqualified? Am I underqualified? Does my resume suck ass? I have over 15 years of business experience, with increasing responsibility. I have "GOOD" experience. But WTF? Seriously?

I haven't gotten to the point where I am ready to jump off a cliff or something, but I am getting sick of looking for a job. I hate it. It's driving me crazy.

On the other side of the coin, I have actually enjoyed being home. I do all of the regular housewife and stay-at-home mom crap and most of the time, I don't mind it. Which is not exactly what I envisioned for myself. Especially considering all of the money and time I have spent on educating myself. Besides this little internal conflict, I find myself getting depressed over this whole experience. I am trying not to let it get me down, but it's there like a black cloud hanging over my head. Not working just makes me feel worthless. I've always had a job ever since was 15 years old.

WHY CAN'T I JUST FIND A JOB ALREADY? This is ridiculous.