My Birthday Blew Fat-Ass Chunks (Mostly)

Here are the things that sucked about my birthday:

Husband bought me lame gifts. For the record, it was a video game (which I never play) and some body lotion from Bath and Body Works. It wasn't even a gift set, they were two random aromatherapy scents.

The karaoke celebration I had planned, ended abruptly at 11pm when Shannon wanted to leave. She wanted to leave because there was a guy a the bar hitting on her and she didn't want him hanging around her all night. They exchanged numbers and whatever. She acted weird on the ride home and I discovered she had taken several Xanax earlier in the night which accounted for her weird behavior. Oh, and I had to pay for my own drinks because she was broke. Which, I'm sorry if I sound like a bitch -- then we should not have gone out and waited until you could pay the $15 for my drinks. I'm a lightweight, and after 3 drinks, I'm flying high, so it's not like I'm going to break the bank when it comes to footing my bar tab. And in Shannon's defense, she did give me a really kick-ass birthday present, so it's not all bad. But who goes home from the bar at 11??? I was expecting to get Shit-Faced and stroll in at 3am.

I had to work on my birthday.

I didn't get laid. Um...not that I wanted to. Just saying.


Here are the things that were relatively great when it came to my Birthday:

My mom called me and actually sang "Happy Birthday" to me on my way to work. It was cute.

I got a birthday card in the mail from Laura on my Birthday. Thanks for remembering and being a great friend, girl.

Daughter made me a birthday card. When you opened it, it said "I (heart) U Mommy". Best birthday card ever.

The aromatherapy scented lotion from Husband were the "Sleep" scent, and the "Sensual" scents. Which I realized were pretty thoughtful because he knows I love to sleep and sometimes have a hard time falling asleep/staying asleep, and well, the "Sensual" I can only guess was for him. *wink*

The video game was for "Harvey Birdman: Attorney-at-law" which was a really funny cartoon on the Cartoon Network about a very inept attorney. *insert bad lawyer joke here*

*sigh*


I also made a Birthday Resolution this year: I've decided to start lying about my age. I have a very young looking face and now is the time to capitalize on it. So from now on, I'm 32. I decided shaving 6 years off was realistic. And fuck off if you don't think so...let me have my mid-life crisis in fantasyland. It's not like I'm going to get a 25-year-old boyfriend, divorce my husband, and start driving a sports car or something? Right? Right?