Girls Gone Wild and The Gays

I’ve never understood the appeal of the “Girls Gone Wild” DVDs advertised on late-night television. I thought they were a bit pathetic actually – in that there’s nothing more going on in these DVDs than a bunch of young girls (usually 18-22 years old) in various stages of undress, and maybe, MAYBE you get a couple of them kissing each other. Or taking a shower, or some other bullshit like that. To me, these DVDs are not sexy at all. Who wants to watch a bunch of immature girls taking off their bras, or sitting in a tub, or rolling around on a bed? Zzzzzzz….snore…..

Fast forward to this weekend. I was flipping through the channels of our cable TV provider. I was venturing into channels I never watch…meaning those past channel 125. I was going through the menu, when I came across a show that was featuring a bunch of stand-up comedians. After watching the channel for a few minutes, I realized I stumbled across the LOGO channel. If you’ve never heard of it, I assume the target audience is the LGBT community. All of the comedians were gay, and one was a transsexual (female to male, pre-op). He was really very cute (does that make me gay?) and they were all very funny. Especially, the half-Japanese woman who referred to the “Gaysians” and did a rap that included references to her “Hello Kitty” underwear. (I find stereotypical humor hilarious.)

So right about now, you’re asking yourself how the “Girls Gone Wild” videos are related to me watching the LOGO channel? Well, it all has to do with the commercial I was bombarded with on every commercial break. It was the one for the “Guys Gone Wild” DVDs!

And guess who, for a brief moment, wanted to order them?

Yep, you guess it. ME. Why?

Because those guys were fucking hot. And who doesn’t want to watch a bunch of young, well-muscled men rolling around on a bed or doing push-ups, or flexing their muscles while taking off their shirts?  With their young faces and young bodies?  I mean, what’s wrong with that?  I couldn't decide which video I wanted to see first -- the "Beach Bums", the "Bad Boys" or the "6-Pack Abs".  Hmmmm.  Decisions, decisions.

Yeah. Call me a Hyopcrite. I deserve it. (((me blushing))))

The funniest thing about all of this wasn’t the realization that I am a gay man trapped in a woman’s body. No, I already knew that. It was that both of these DVDs are obviously marketed to men (although the “Guys Gone Wild” people should really find a way to market their DVDs to sexually frustrated women in their late 30s. They’d probably make an assload of cash. Just saying.)