Only Me?

I am totally obsessed with "The Maury Povich Show". Am I alone? I can't get enough of the drama -- between the paternity and lie detector test, the 13-year-olds who want babies, and boot camps, I'm hanging on every word of the show. I am nearly giddy because it comes on twice a day. What is wrong with me?

Favorite Moments:

Maury: "And the lie detector determined THAT was a lie!" OR

Maury: "And in the case of 13-month old baby Mary, Robert you ARE the father!"

Two Months and Counting...

Technically, it's been a little over 2 months now that I've been among the unemployed. I say "technically" because I lost my job in mid-July, and spent the remainder of July studying for the Bar like my life depended on it. The exam was July 29th and 30th. Then I spent the next couple of weeks taking short summer vacations and enjoying the beautiful weather. So, what I'm saying, is that I spent about a month not really focusing on Finding a Job.

Which means, for the last month or so, I really have been focusing on finding a job. And having absolutely NO LUCK whatsoever. I don't know what the problem is exactly. Is there too many unemployed and not enough jobs? Am I overqualified? Am I underqualified? Does my resume suck ass? I have over 15 years of business experience, with increasing responsibility. I have "GOOD" experience. But WTF? Seriously?

I haven't gotten to the point where I am ready to jump off a cliff or something, but I am getting sick of looking for a job. I hate it. It's driving me crazy.

On the other side of the coin, I have actually enjoyed being home. I do all of the regular housewife and stay-at-home mom crap and most of the time, I don't mind it. Which is not exactly what I envisioned for myself. Especially considering all of the money and time I have spent on educating myself. Besides this little internal conflict, I find myself getting depressed over this whole experience. I am trying not to let it get me down, but it's there like a black cloud hanging over my head. Not working just makes me feel worthless. I've always had a job ever since was 15 years old.

WHY CAN'T I JUST FIND A JOB ALREADY? This is ridiculous.

9/11

The Day that None of Us Will Forget. On the anniversary of the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, I always am reminded of where I was and how I heard of the news. I was working in the HR department at my previous job, and was listening to the Howard Stern Show...and he was the person who told me.

Later in my workday, my company had set up CNN in the auditorium for everyone to come down and watch (if you wanted to) -- and in that auditorium is where I saw the buildings collapse.

Right now, I'm watching the History Channel, reliving the horror I felt that day (watching the doucmentary, 102 Minutes that Changed America). I don't know why I am still morbidly facinated with watching documentary after documentary...I can't get enough. My stomach is in knots, and I feel like I am going to throw up. When those buildings come crumbling down -- I can't stand it. Or to watch people jump to their deaths because they can't get out of the buildings. It's just so disgusting.

September 11th also reminds me of my friend, Sandy. I blogged about her in an earlier post, so you can read more (if you haven't already) in the post about Randy Pausch. 9/11 makes me think of her because she died September 11, 2002. One year later -- one year after THE 9/11. I have been thinking about her, her husband, her kids, her family -- off and on today. Thinking about her death and about the terrorist attacks just makes me feel very pessimistic. This world is so fucked up somtimes, and life can be so cruel.

I hope this black cloud lifts soon. Sadness and anger are things I try not to dwell on for any long periods of time, but today it is appropriate, I think.

Top 5 List

Although I was not a big fan, I think there was an episode of "Friends" where they talked about their top 5 list...the top 5 list of celebrities that if they had the chance, they would totally rock their world, all night long?

So here's my top 5 list -- and I'd love to know yours! (in no particular order)

1. David Beckham (you can read about this obsession in earlier posts)

2. Pete Wentz (I can't figure out this one -- he's like 5 feet tall, and the guy-liner thing, was never really my thing...but damn, he's so freakin' cute!)

3. Ben Affeck (again, he's just so cute! I can't stand it.)
4. Lenny Kravitz (Lenny is one sexy-ass mutha)

5. Rick Springfield (yeah, I'd still totally do him lol -- and sometimes I really miss the 80's!)

Now, here's my list if it applied to characters -- in novels, movies, etc.

1. William Shakespeare (as played by Joseph Fiennes in Shakespeare in Love) I LOVE LOVE LOVE this movie. I can't even express to you right now, how much I love this movie.)

2. Mr. Darcy, in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice (My favorite book EVER)

3. Michael Corleone (as played by Al Pacino in The Godfather) OR Tony Montana (as played by Al Pacino in Scarface) (Al Pacino had that cold, Italian shit down. He was so sexy when he was killing people! "Say "hello" to my little friend!")

4. Lloyd Dobler (as played by John Cusack in Say Anything) OR Rob Gordon (as played by John Cusack in High Fidelity) I love John Cusack and how he can play "vunerable" so good. It's those freaking puppy-dog eyes.

5. James Bond (as played by Daniel Craig in Casino Royale). My two favorite scenes -- when he's coming out of the ocean in those small swimshorts, and when he is in the casino in that tuxedo that looks like it was painted on him. The sexiest Bond EVER.

Honorable Mention: the naked neighbor-guy of Samantha's, in Sex and the City (the movie). See it to believe it. ;)

Random Thoughts

Today's Random Thoughts are about how I wish I had an English accent. These are the words I would be using (or at least all that I can think of at the moment):

Calling my butt a "bottom" -- or "arse" (which can also be used instead of calling someone an asshole)
Using the words "brillant" and "smashing" to describe something I love
When people ask me what type of job I want, I'm going to start telling them I want to be a "barrister" instead of a lawyer
When I swear, I'm just going to start saying "bloody hell" or "bollocks" or tell people to "sod off"
Instead of smoking cigarettes, I'm going to say they're "fags"
I am going to rename the post I made called "Am I Crazy?" to "Am I Daft?"
When I talk about not having a job, I will affectionately call it "being on the dole"
I am no longer wearing underwear, they are "knickers"
I won't be using the bathroom -- it is a "loo" or "W.C." from now on
And...last but not least, when shit starts to go wrong, I'm going to say it's gone "tits up"

Well, tally-ho and pip, pip! And may God save The Queen!