Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Comin' Outta My Head

Today's thoughts:

Lately, I feel like I've been falling down a big, dark, hole and I can't find my way out.  The depression feels like it's crushing me.  I was on a phone conversation with my best friend last night and told her that I couldn't think of one thing that gave my life a little sparkle.  UGH.  I hate feeling like this.  I've made an appointment with my doctor to see if I should adjust my medication, but I think the problem is much bigger than some adjustment in my anti-depressants. 

Mel Gibson is such a fuckhead.  I hope these taped conversations that his girlfriend recorded will be the final nail in the coffin that is his career.  I'm sick of seeing his stupid face on the television, and find him completely disgusting.  In every way.  Who knew Mad Max was such a racist, misogynistic asshole?  However, I do find the tiniest bit of delight in his quote of "you should just smile and blow me".  I think I'm going to have to make that little gem mine.  It's just filled with all kinds of awesome. 

Michigan has been going through a heat wave and I can't decide if I love it or hate it.  The past few summers really sucked ass -- it was a banner day if it got above 80 degrees.  I froze my ass off during the 4th of July weekends in the past -- wearing jeans, sweatshirts, etc. to watch fireworks.  This year, the weather has come back with a vengance.  Lots and lots of days in the high 80s and we even had a heat wave where the temps were in the high 90s.  Granted, I'm sweating my ass off everywhere I go this summer, but I think I'm kind of digging it.

My mom gets on my fucking nerves.  But you may had already known that.  If not, well, there you go.  I love her to death but seriously.  I'm one more guilt trip away from being committed to the psych ward.

I know I haven't given any client updates lately, and last night, I met a real kook.  She was 27 years old and came in with her mom.  She has a 3-year-old daughter.  The babydaddy took their daughter from the babymomma in early June and she hasn't seen her since.  She wants to sue babydaddy so she can get her kid back.  Seems relatively simple, right?  OH NOoooo.  During the conversation we find out that babymomma is bipolar, has previously been a heroin addict (and was on methadone when she found out she was pregnant), stole her mother's credit card (her mother prosecuted her), and has previously been arrested for retail fraud/shoplifiting.  There might be more that I can't think of off the top of my head.  OH.  She also has her driver's license taken away because she was driving on a suspended license.  Her license was suspended because she didn't pay a ticket or something.  I felt like telling her there's not a snowball's chance in hell that she's getting her kid back.  Especially, considering babymomma's mother is really the one who took care of the kid.  Like everyday.  I don't even want to get involved in this case.  It's a fucking mess.  But shit like this is what keeps me coming into work everyday.  Name another job where you get to deal with personal drama that doesn't involve a prison?  Maybe a psychiatrist/psychologist.  Other than that, I can't think of one.  And then I was getting all pissed off because here's this woman who can't even take care of her own child, and there's millions of people out there who want children and can't have them.  Ridiculous.

I've decided that I am never going to understand Men.  Ever.  And no offense to any of my male readers, but I think the world would be a much better place to live in if it were all women.  I remember reading a novel called "The Female Man" in college.  It was about a place, a utopia, where it was all women, and men were only used for breeding purposes.  My utopia would be a little different.  Men would need to be used for breeding purposes of course, but I'd also add doing any labor-intensive job (like farming or construction, you get the idea) and definitely for killing spiders (and other creepy-crawlies) in the house. 

What's been running around your brain lately? 

Thursday, July 08, 2010

The Life Project, Take 1

Once again, I'm stealing blog ideas from Kim at Perfectly Cursed Life.  I'm pretty sure she doesn't mind, considering she's practically begging her readers to start their own "Life Project".  I figured since there's no time like the is my first installment on my Life Project (which is basically my "bucket list" but with a fancier title).

1.  Learn a foreign language.  Preferably Spanish, even though I took two semesters of French in college.  All I can remember is how to say "J'suis American!" and "hericot verts".  Look it up.

2.  Visit the following places:  The Grand Canyon, Mt. Rushmore, Hollywood Boulevard, Washington D.C., the Liberty Bell, and New York City.

3.  Get off my meds.  Someday.

4.  Learn to drive a stick shift.  Although I don't know why this one is so damn important to me, considering I can get any car I want in an automatic transmission.  I think it has to do with when I went to buy a Mustang GT about 10 years ago, and all the salesmen (they were all men) sort of made fun of me for buying an automatic transmission in a "sports car".  Know what I said?  "Fuck shifting.  I just want to press a pedal and go for chrissake!"  My salesman took me to an empty parking lot and tried to teach me to drive one, much to his frustration.

5.  Learn to meditate and do it everyday.

So what's on your "Life Project" list?

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

A Meme

Kim at Perfectly Cursed Life tagged me in her recent meme.  And a "meme", for those of you that don’t know, is basically a survey that many people do and/or are tagged to do…).  Who knew?  Obviously, not me, considering I felt the definition was very helpful.  So onto my meme...

1. When was the last time you played air guitar? Come on, I’m not asking you to admit you still listen to Def Leppard.

OK, seriously...the last time I played "air guitar" it was to a Def Leppard song!  OMG I'm such a sad 80s nerd.  I was watching that horrible movie, "Balls of Fire" and during the final credits sequence, the main character (who looooves Def Leppard) was lip-synching and was totally all over the air guitar thing, so I decided to join in. 

2. What’s the oldest thing in your fridge?

I'm afraid to answer this question.  I think maybe there's some really old yogurt in the back of my fridge.  Either that or some moldy sour cream.  Ewwwww.

3. Vampires, zombies or please make it stop?

It ain't no secret I'm a huge fan of "True Blood" on HBO.  I'm all over the vampire thing in a big way.  "True Blood" would classify me as a "fangbanger". 

4. If you had to change your current profession, and could be anything, what would you do?

Well, if I had any natural talent, I'd want to be a rock star.  But considering I'm 1) tone-deaf, 2) clumsy as all hell, and 3) can read music...I'd probably fail miserably as a rock star.  Hence the reasons why I have not tried it thus far in my life.

5. Undergarment of choice?

This is a little personal, but seriously...panties ALWAYS.  There's no reason why a grown woman should be going commando.  Panties serve a purpose.  And that purpose is not just to prevent the occasional crotch-shots, but also to keep everything bundled up nice a neat.  I just feel weird without panties.

6. What is the tackiest thing you own?

Considering I am a model of good taste, I don't think any of my possessions are tacky.  But I'm sure I have some somewhere.  OH I KNOW.  When Husband and I were first married, good friends of our gave us a gift.  It was a ashtray in the shape of a common housefly.  It's black and the top, fly-body-part, opens up to reveal the ashtray part (and I swear, the thing looks just like this fly).  We still have it.  It's on our fireplace mantle.  So if you ever come by to visit, don't forget to look for it.  It's right next to the second-most tacky thing in my house, a small alligator head (don't ask).  Apparently, my fireplace mantle is the place we display all of our tacky shit.

7. Summer with no air conditioning or winter with no heat?

Shit, this is a no-brainer, considering the heat wave we've had recently.  Winter with no heat, for sure.  I can always add another layer of clothing to keep warm.  Keeping cool is not as easy.

8. Desert island time: Wow, there is a band that will play whenever you snap your fingers and OMG, it’s your favorite! Who is it?

Queen.  They were so fricken awesome.

I'm not going to tag anyone to do the meme, but feel free if you want and then hit me back and let me know you did it so I can read your answers too!