Sex and Candy

You know what I love? Hershey’s chocolate, that’s what.

Now I’ve tried all types of chocolate in my 37 years, you can believe it. I’ve had cheap chocolate (like those cheap foil-wrapped egg chocolates you find at Easter) and I’ve had expensive chocolate (Godiva, Ghirardelli…shit imported from Switzerland, etc.). I love Dove chocolates, but I always come back to Hershey’s chocolate. It's like my long-lost lover...and I can say that Hershey’s is the best I’ve ever had, that’s for sure.

As you've probably gathered, Hershey's chocolate is like sex to me. Really great, mind blowing sex, that is. And frankly, Hershey’s chocolate always is good for me – it’s consistent and steady, it’s always available when I crave it, and it never disappoints. Hershey’s chocolate has variety, too. I can get it with nuts, or without. I can get it in the form of Kisses or Nuggets (and nevermind all the flavors I can get those in). I can get it in syrup or powder…and it can get it in white, dark or milk chocolate. PLUS it lasts as long as I want. I can gobble it down in less than a minute, or I can pace myself and make it last for hours. Best part of all of this? My chocolate craving is always satisfied at the end.

After I’m done with Hershey’s chocolate, there’s no obligatory compliments that we need to exchange, or awkwardness, or walk of shame. Hershey knows it did its job, and I’m grateful for that. We part ways with a smile on my face and the sugar pumping through my veins, giving me a chocolate high. Hershey’s doesn't mind that I'm the only one who is satisfied either, because it is happy being a giver. I can also have Hershey’s anytime, anywhere without getting arrested or losing my job. I'm not considered a freak if I want to share my Hershey’s with a group of people, male and female alike -- all of us enjoying Hershey's at once.

Too much Hershey’s can be a bad thing, though. Overindulgence in one day can cause and upset stomach and the sugar rush can be too much. Overindulgence over a long period of time can cause bad health and weight gain. I guess that’s one thing that sex has on chocolate. The more you do it the more calories you burn and there’s no upset stomach in the end. Or at least there shouldn’t be! Maybe there’s something I don’t know here?

Too bad there’s not a really great way to combine Hershey’s chocolate with my sex life…I wonder if Husband would get a Kisses costume and wear it to bed? Ah, nevermind…

You Know What I Love?

The Addams' Family, that's what. I was reminded how much I love that TV show yesterday, when I was flipping through the channels and came across the "Biography" station. The featured biography was Carolyn Jones, better known as Morticia Addams.

My love of the Addams Family dates back to when I was a kid and my dad introduced me to all the the 1960s, cheesy TV shows -- namely, the Addams Family and The Munsters. It was love at first sight as far as I was concerned regarding the Addams' (I won't even go into how The Addams Family is far superior to The Munsters...or at least not at this time). I mean -- Gomez, Morticia, Uncle Fester, Cousin Itt, Grandmama, Lurch, Thing...I loved them all.

I haven't had the pleasure of watching any old reruns in a long time. When Pete and I moved into our house 11 years ago, we had a satellite dish (you know, one of those really HUGE ones where you're neighbors think you're some freak because you have this giant thing in your backyard)? Oh yeah, we had it. Because cable sucked back then. Anyway, the dish picked up TV Land (which was not on cable at the time) and they used to show the re-runs of The Addams Family. I was thrilled to death when I was able to watch the Addams' on a daily basis...sigh.

Just to give you a rundown of why I love the show, here's some brief comments:

Gomez: The man is a lawyer who gets joy out of losing his cases. A crazy eccentric, he loves smoking cigars, blowing up model trains and is madly in love with Morticia. What is not to love about Gomez? Between the crazy eyes and the pinstriped suit and the indoor gymnastics...for some reason Gomez always reminded me of my dad. There is a bit of a resemblance, but I don't know what else makes me think of my dad. Maybe it's because he introduced me to the show? Pete and I once saw the episode where Gomez ran for Mayor. That definitely reminded me of my dad with all the politics. :)

Morticia: I swear, one of these days I am going to get me a Morticia dress. The lady was hot in that crazy get-up. I loved when she fed her venus flytrap plan ground beef, and that she cut the heads off her roses. And I loved that when she spoke French, Gomez would go crazy like they were on a first date or something. "Tish! You spoke French...!" (grabbing her arm and kissing it all the way up. CLASSIC.

Other odds and ends: Wednesday's Marie Antionette doll (with guillotine accessory), Lurch and the harpsicord, the noose that the family would ring when wanting to summond Lurch, handy-dandy Thing and his helpful lending-a-hand, Uncle Fester and the light bulbs, the bearskin rug that growled...

All of this makes me wonder: WHY IN THE FUCK DON'T I OWN THIS SHOW ON DVD???

You Know Who I Love?

Nine Inch Nails, that's who. Specifically, Trent Reznor.

Listening to NIN always takes me back to happier times -- my college days -- and reminds me of my best friend from college, Laura.

I remember the times when Laura and I would put on our flannel shirts, matte lipstick and our black biker jackets (I still have mine somewhere) and go bar-hopping to places like The Shelter. Or go tooling around in her VW Rabbit. I was so into grunge music -- the whole Nirvana-Lalapalloza-Doc Martens-Flannel-wearing attitude. Yes, my friends, your pink-loving friend used to own a few flannel shirts. Believe it or not. I swear on my copy of "Nevermind". And you better get that reference or we are going to have to break up. Times were so fun back then. She is the one who introduced me to NIN and for that, I'm eternally grateful.

I also remember the time when Laura came to my house and we were outside with my little brother, and he saw Laura's NIN sticker on the back of her Rabbit..."What does N, I, backwards-N mean?" UH...DUHHHHHH. Nine Inch Nails, Dumbass! As if!

But back to Trent Reznor. Have you seen him lately? Who knew that behind that "I-was-Marilyn-Manson-before-Marilyn-Manson-existed" was a hot piece of angry man beef? I mean seriously, y'all. Look at him. Go ahead. I won't judge you if you stare. I promise.

So thank you, Trent Reznor, for all the angry music, and especially for getting that membership to Gold's Gym. The world is certainly a better place for the ears AND the eyes.

You Know What I Love?

The TV show, "Scrubs". Apparently, I have been living under a rock for the past 7-8 years, because this show has been on and I've been missing it! Oh, I guess a little thing called "law school" and "studying for the bar" have cut into my TV time....

The writing on this show is awesome. It's hilarious.

I love Dr. Cox -- talking to J.D., "Look Joanie...." "See here, Mary...."

and Dr. Kelso, whose crabbiness is comical and his constant fights with Dr. Cox and the janitor are awesome.

And Eliot...what can be said about her? I want to be her friend...I want to call her and chat about her day and all the clumsy-awful things that happen to her, and tell her that she's a good person and yes, your mother is crazy.

And J.D? I think he's too cute for words -- I love his nurotic-ness and his innocence. And he's got nice hair. :) What's not to love?

The co-stars are even fabulous. Especially Todd. That guy cracks me up. I am going to have to catch up through NetFlix on the eight-or-whatever-many number of seasons there are, because WGN and Comedy Central are just not satisfying my fix!

You Know Who I Love?

Yeah...David Beckham. And do I even need to say more? I can't wait for the new Armani underwear ads to come out so I can drool some more. That Posh Spice is some lucky spice...DAMN.