Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Sex and Candy

You know what I love? Hershey’s chocolate, that’s what.

Now I’ve tried all types of chocolate in my 37 years, you can believe it. I’ve had cheap chocolate (like those cheap foil-wrapped egg chocolates you find at Easter) and I’ve had expensive chocolate (Godiva, Ghirardelli…shit imported from Switzerland, etc.). I love Dove chocolates, but I always come back to Hershey’s chocolate. It's like my long-lost lover...and I can say that Hershey’s is the best I’ve ever had, that’s for sure.

As you've probably gathered, Hershey's chocolate is like sex to me. Really great, mind blowing sex, that is. And frankly, Hershey’s chocolate always is good for me – it’s consistent and steady, it’s always available when I crave it, and it never disappoints. Hershey’s chocolate has variety, too. I can get it with nuts, or without. I can get it in the form of Kisses or Nuggets (and nevermind all the flavors I can get those in). I can get it in syrup or powder…and it can get it in white, dark or milk chocolate. PLUS it lasts as long as I want. I can gobble it down in less than a minute, or I can pace myself and make it last for hours. Best part of all of this? My chocolate craving is always satisfied at the end.

After I’m done with Hershey’s chocolate, there’s no obligatory compliments that we need to exchange, or awkwardness, or walk of shame. Hershey knows it did its job, and I’m grateful for that. We part ways with a smile on my face and the sugar pumping through my veins, giving me a chocolate high. Hershey’s doesn't mind that I'm the only one who is satisfied either, because it is happy being a giver. I can also have Hershey’s anytime, anywhere without getting arrested or losing my job. I'm not considered a freak if I want to share my Hershey’s with a group of people, male and female alike -- all of us enjoying Hershey's at once.

Too much Hershey’s can be a bad thing, though. Overindulgence in one day can cause and upset stomach and the sugar rush can be too much. Overindulgence over a long period of time can cause bad health and weight gain. I guess that’s one thing that sex has on chocolate. The more you do it the more calories you burn and there’s no upset stomach in the end. Or at least there shouldn’t be! Maybe there’s something I don’t know here?

Too bad there’s not a really great way to combine Hershey’s chocolate with my sex life…I wonder if Husband would get a Kisses costume and wear it to bed? Ah, nevermind…


mytruth1118 said...

You should read a book called "the chocolate lovers club" it's kind of a love story/mystery..sort of, I don't know, but it's a great book and it talks about the love of chocolate. Also, I just want you to know that I made Peanut butter kisses tonight, those are peanut butter cookies with a hersheys kiss plopped in the middle. I love chocolate!

Jody said...

You are fuckin crazy and that is why I love you so much!!!!!