Tuesday, October 21, 2008

New Job, Same Shitty Attitude

I started my new job yesterday. Not that I was looking forward to it, because a) I got used to staying at home and b) I got used to not having to get up at the ass-crack of dawn. BUT, I tried to keep a positive attitude yesterday as I embarked on a new chapter in my life.

Of course, I was already grumbling at 5:30am when my alarm went off. The grumbling continued when I had to drop Daughter off at school at 6:30am because I felt bad for her (even though she was all excited to go to school so early and play with the kids at latchkey -- I was projecting my feelings on to her.) The grumbling continued throughout the day, when I found out I was going to be massively micro-managed at this job -- I have to punch a timeclock, don't dare be one minute late EVER, don't ever think about taking time off, don't ever call in sick, just don't ever do anything. I kept thinking to myself that I am 37 years old, and I am too old for this shit. And my temper got all flared up over this -- even though I pretty much kept it to myself.

To top it off, the training is so boring I want to slit my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. The trainer, while I am sure is a perfectly nice woman, couldn't be less enthusiastic about the material or getting us trained. Then -- the material itself. I spent all of yesterday in a constant state of "What the Fuck?" because we basically were reviewing engineering specs for automotive parts all freaking day. I kept thinking this is why I wasn't an engineer. I barely understood anything.

I'll describe the job -- I will be a "search and retrieval specialist" -- when someone sues GM, after being in a car accident, we receive a letter from the attorneys, who are in pre-discovery mode. They are requesting all kinds of documents such as drawings of the parts of the car that were involved in the accident (ex: air bag, rooftop (for rollover accidents), wheel axels, etc.) and then all associated parts and also all information on other vehicles that were made on the same automotive platform. They also request test reports and other documents I haven't even figured out. I hate it.

Which is why I am awake at 5:00 am updating my blog with a pounding headache. I couldn't sleep all night and am worried about this job. Already.

On the bright side -- which despite me having the same shitty attitude, I really do try and find the silver lining because it's the only thing that keeps me going....they eliminated the afternoon shift and I will be able to hold daytime hours like a normal working grunt. Bright side = seeing and spending time with my family and also still being able to do my Pure Romance parties. Of course, part of me was still bitching about the bright side, because I had accepted the fact I would be working afternoons and was in that mindset.

I will never, ever be happy. I was complaining to my mother yesterday and she was so happy she about shit herself. She was happy regarding the material I will be researching and she was happy that they moved the job to the day shift. I was irritated because she was not being supportive of me in my complaints. I should be used to it by now.

My alarm just went off...guess I need to try and adjust my attitude and keep an open mind for today. As a sidenote -- my alarm is a iHome and my iPod just went off as I mentioned...the song playing is Miley Cyrus' "I Can't Wait to See You Again". This is notworthy for two reasons. 1) I didn't download this song to my iPod because I haven't downloaded songs in a very long time...which brings me to interesting point #2 -- if I didn't do it, it means Husband did. Who knew he was such a Miley fan???? I'm dying, y'all. Of course, if I were to call him out on it, he'd say he downloaded it on "accident". His secret is safe with me....oh, and all of you now too! :)

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Some Days It's Just Not Worth Getting Out of Bed

I am on this "bad luck" streak -- it's actually not bad luck per se (I don't believe in luck), but I have been on a roll of things going to shit since yesterday.

I signed Daughter up for swim lessons. Not traditional swim lessons, but lessons that will teach her how to be a competitive swimmer. Right now, she is still learning to swim, but she loves it. I knew she would love it because she loves being in the water -- pools, lakes, the bathtub -- you name it, she wants to be in it all day.

Anyway, her lessons are Tuesdays and Wednesday evenings. Tuesday at 6pm and Wednesdays at 5:30pm. Yesterday, we were running a little late to her lesson because I forgot my cellie at home and had to turn around. I was still in the neighborhood, but it still wasted about 5 minutes of my drive time. We arrived at the high school right at 6pm, and she hadn't even changed yet. The parking lot was JAMMED, so that should have been my first clue that something was amiss. We forge on to the pool, after having to hike the back 40 to get to the school (we usually get a parking space in the driveway right in front of the pool, but it was full due to my running late.) We are rushing to the pool, and we get to the part of the school where the locker room door is, and this woman stops me because there's a SWIM MEET that night and the lessons have been moved. And the school they were moved to -- I have no idea where it is. Daughter starts bawling her eyes out, having a nervous breakdown because she loves going swimming so much, and I'm feeling like Mother of the Year. I basically tell Daughter we are not going to the lesson because I don't know where the school is -- we get into the car and I feel like a massive asshole. I decide to try and figure out where this freaking school is...and 15 minutes later, we're there.

But the fun doesn't end there. We are not about 20 minutes late. We rush into the locker room, Daughter changes, and we go out to where the swimmers are. I look around for her swim coach and don't see her. As a matter of fact, I don't see any of the swimmers in her group. Daughter starts panicking and she finds another coach who tells her that her group isn't practicing tonight. OH FUCK. She immediately starts crying and having a meltdown, and once again, I feel like Mother of the Year x2. Of course, all of this was basically MY FAULT because I didn't notice the "NO PRACTICE" on the calendar for her lessons. Way to go.

So that was yesterday. Today, the streak continued when I realized that I must have thrown out the order forms for my Pure Romance party on Saturday -- for girls I didn't know. Luckily, I already processed their credit card payments and ordered the items I didn't have in stock and owe them BUT I DON'T KNOW WHO THESE GIRLS ARE AND I DON'T HAVE THEIR ADDRESSES OR PHONE NUMBERS. So I had to call the hostess and bascially tell her what I did like a massive dipshit and ask her to have the girls I own items to to give me a call.

I realized I must have thrown them out at about 6:30pm today. Of course, today was trash day and I'm sure they picked the trash up at 6:29pm. Well, maybe not really, but they might as well have for all the luck I've been having these past two days. Can't wait to see what tomorrow has in store for me.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Yeah, Riiiiight

Kelly Ripa has an endorsement deal with Electrolux. I've seen her do a commercial for the oven, and also for the washer and dryer. Based on these commercials, I assume I am supposed to believe that Ms. Ripa does her cooking and cleaning for her 3 children (or is it 4?) and her husband. Based on how tiny the woman is (and have you seen her arms? Move over Madonna...there's a new girl at the gun show), I really think she only has time enough in her day to do her show with Regis and work out furiously at the gym. And probably do some motherly shit with her kids. That's it. Nothing else.

Seriously? I'm sure Ms. Ripa has a housekeeper AND a personal chef. That's what I think.

Monday, October 06, 2008

Depression=NO BLOG POSTS

Hey. So I haven't been updating my blog lately, as you may have noticed, namely because I really haven't felt like it. Like there was nothing that warranted the energy it would have taken to update and post comments. Which I attribute to a mild form of depression -- partly due to not having a job, not having any prospects and worrying about finding a job. There are many other reasons for my depression -- reasons that are as old as I am, or reasons that go WAAAAY back, but the job thing was the most recent thing to send me into a tailspin, so let's put like 75% of the blame for no blog updates on that.

Well...the impossible has happened. I found a job. Training for it starts on the 13th, and lasts 2-3 weeks. Then the job goes to the afternoon shift, which is from 3:30-12midnight. Anyone who knows me knows I am NOT a morning person. So starting work at 3:30 is mildly appealing. The only downside is that I won't see my kid, and that kinda bums me out. Because I spent 4 years in law school in night classes not seeing my kid. The way I figure, I've probably only really seen about 2 years worth of her life -- the other 3.75 years I've spent away from her for some reason. Nice parenting. OK, I shouldn't beat myself up too bad about it, because parents everwhere make sacrifices which include working afternoons. So I won't dwell -- just trying to give you a taste of the mindset I'm in over this job-thing. I'm torn.

The job itself doesn't sound TOO bad -- it has something or other to do with researching things (those things are to be determined at a later date...and determined, I'm assuming, by the lawsuit that gets filed) -- so I will be doing research for things for lawsuits that get filed against GM and putting my research in a file for the GM attorneys. It's rather vague (if you haven't picked up on that already) -- but at least it's in the legal profession, and at least it is a paying job. It being so vague is why I am assuming the training period is so long. I mean, 2-3 weeks? I can't wait to see what secrets will be bestowed upon me....

In other news...most of you know that I became a Pure Romance consultant. Which is really very fun and I enjoy it 100% of the time. My first party was hostessed (is that a word? Is now.) by my friend Jody, and due to unforseen circumstances, we couldn't hold the party at her apartment, so instead we moved it to my parent's house. Now, I haven't written much about my family, other than to compare them to the Munsters. I swear, one of these days, I will devote a post to them and only them, and it will be a feast for your eyes. But until that day...here's a little bit of what my mom is like: the day after the Pure Romance party, I am talking on the phone with my mom. I can only talk to her for about 6 minutes at any one time, because it's about at the 6-minute mark, where my mom will say something that will send me from 0 to 60 in under 2 seconds. The day after my party, my mother mentions to me that I should really "tailor" my parties to my audience. Why she thought I would be able to do this, especially when I start doing parties for total strangers, I have no idea. So I ask her what she means. She replies that some of those "things" that I demonstrated (namely the toys) were "REEEALY DISGUSTING" and that I shouldn't be showing them. Um...I don't know about you, but I always thought that one of the big draws to a Pure Romance party was the toys? Call me crazy, but I don't think the promise of massage lotions and body sprays are the biggest appeal of the parties. So while I am explaining to her, that one of the things that girls look forward to are the toys, and when they come to the party, they kind of know what to expect -- because I know if I was invited to a Pure Romance party and didn't know what it was, the person inviting me would TELL ME, right? I can hear my mom himming and hawing on the other end, and it is at that point, where I tell her I have to go. NOW. Before I reach through the phone and smack her one upside the head.

She gets under my skin. Like no one else can. Of course, I have been mulling around the idea of getting her one of the dual-action vibrators for Christmas. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to see her face when she opened it. Because she needs one more than anyone I know. For Reals.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

I'm Obsessed With Vampires, Y'all

I've never really been a huge vampire "fan" or whatever you want to call it. I mean, I saw "Interview with a Vampire" and Bram Stoker's "Dracula" when they were released, and enjoyed them, and I loved "Blade". But I just never really have been obsessed about vampires, or really all that interested in them, until now.

It all started with those "Twilight" books. And the only reason I started reading them in the first place is because I wanted to know what all of the hub-bub was about (that, along with being unemployed...had a lot of time on my hands). I stayed out of the "Harry Potter" mania, but this time, I wanted to be "in" with the in-crowd of literary fans. So I read "Twilight". AND the next two installments (I still have to read the fourth one.)

THEN...HBO has decided to begin a new series, called "TrueBlood". The commercial went a little like this..."From the creator of "Six Feet Under" comes a new series about..." blah blah blah. It didn't matter to me what the new series was about, if it was from Alan Ball, I was going to tune it. I was a GIANT fan of "Six Feet Under" -- I loved the quirkyness and I fell in love with the characters. So you know I was all over watching "TrueBlood".

I'd be lying if I said that this whole Vampire Craze I'm experiencing as something I just stumbled upon. Shannon was the one who first watched "TrueBlood" and told me I HAD to watch it. She even CAME OVER my house one day and we watched the first 3 episodes -- I think she came over just to make sure I'd watch it. Now, I'm hooked on the show. The main premise of the show is that vampires have "come out of the casket" so to speak, and are trying to go mainstream. The main characters are Sookie (played by Anna Paquin) and Bill (the Vampire), who are beginning a relationship even though they are in a very small Louisiana town that doesn't look too favorable on this "mixed" relationship. Of course, the story is much more involved and complicated than I am describing, but if you are interested, and have HBO, check it on On Demand. Especially if you are even a little bit interested in vampires.

"TrueBlood" is based on a series of novels written by Charlaine Harris, the first one being "Dead After Dark" -- with the tagline being "A Southern Vampire Story". I read it after discovering the TV show, and now I am in the middle of the third installment. Alan Ball's (I just said "balls" hee hee) interpretation is pretty close to the books, but he does put his spin on it. Which keeps it interesting for me because there's not a whole lotta of suspense now that I know what is going to happen.

I also think one of the reasons my obsession has hit new heights this week is that I caught up on the episode I miss this past Sunday. As if there wasn't enough sex in the first 6 episodes...this one is exploding with it. And if you never thought vampires were sexy with a capital "SEX"...you need to watch "TrueBlood". The vampires are portrayed as very sexual and sensual beings (and not all together a creepy way) -- it's quite an interesting spin on the whole "I vant to suck your blooood" stereotype. Yeah, suck my blood and then some -- indeed. Damn. Being a member of the undead never looked so hot.