Last Thursday, I took Daughter to her swim lesson. It was rather uneventful until it came time for her to change into her clothes to go home. We meet in the girl’s locker room so I can help her out (because if I don’t, it will take her a million years to change and I want to get home sometime before the year ends). At one point, we notice that this mother has brought her SON into the locker room to change. Granted, the kid was about 4 years old, but still. At one point while I’m helping Ursula change, the kid decides it would be a perfect time for him to streak the locker room in his birthday suit, and of course, he’s coming toward Daughter and me – so she gets a big eyeful of some full frontal male nudity. Oh great.
So she doesn’t really say anything about it, although we both kind of giggle about it, and I think we are done with this topic. I should know better by now that no topic, especially not one like the impact full frontal male nudity has – is ever done by means of a small giggle.
Saturday comes along, and we’re just doing not much of anything, but we’re at home and it’s just her and me. She asks me, out of the blue, “Have you ever seen a boy’s private parts?” Hmmm. How to answer this one….so I say, “Yeah.” But in a way where it was more like a valley girl – “Yeaaaaaahhhh” – like you would say “Duh”. She looks at me with these wide eyes, and then asks in an accusatory tone, “Who’s?!” Hmmm. Once again, I’m faced with the question on how to answer in the most appropriate way. I reply, “I’ve seen Daddy’s a couple of times, I guess.” I figured she would not see anything weird about that answer. Immediately after I confirm, that yes indeed, I have had the fortune to see some private parts, she says in a high pitched voice, “Were you, like, EWWWWWW! GROSS!??” I nearly peed my pants. At this point in our conversation, I can only IMAGINE what she must have thought last Thursday, when that kid was running toward her, in all his naked glory, bouncing all over the place….coming right at her. Boing…boing…boing! HA HA!
I answer her, again in my valley girl “Duh” voice – “Yeah! Ewwww, gross!” and we chuckle a little. So then I ask her the question I already know the answer to – “So have YOU ever seen a boy’s private parts?” Continuing in the sarcastic tone that this conversation has taken, she says, “What do you think?” Hahahaha…what do I think? I think I want to end this conversation right here....I reply, “Yes?” She nods. “Who?” I ask, accusatorily. “That little boy at swim who was in the locker room!” To which I reply:
“Where you, like, EWWWWW! GROSS??!!!”
And she says, “YES!” and we laugh our heads off! Because again, I can only imagine what she was thinking in that locker room, comparing what he had going on to what she has going on….and she was probably thinking “What the FUCK is THAT???”