Friday, September 11, 2009


I've made a conscious decision today not to turn on the television and watch all of the 9/11 documentaries that are run every year. Last year, I just found the whole experience very depressing. Instead, I'm going to focus on this date for another reason.

As I mentioned in my post from last year, besides the thoughts all of us have when we think of the date "September 11th" -- I also think about the friend I lost on September 11. Except, as I mentioned, she did not die in THE September 11th -- she passed away one year later in 2002.

My friend Sandy was a beautiful woman. She was married and the mother of two children. Her daughter, Megan was almost 2 years old at the time Sandy died. Her son, Andrew (or "Drew") was only 9 months old. At her funeral, I was 7 months pregnant, and about 2 weeks away from my baby shower. Sandy's husband came up to me at the funeral and told me that the shower gift Sandy had bought for me was still at their house and he wanted me to have it. I saved that gift for last at my shower, and while I opened it, tears were streaming down my face. The gift Sandy had bought for me was my diaper pail. I found it very funny after Daughter was born, that ever time I disposed of her dirty diapers, I would think of Sandy. Life is funny that way.

Sandy was two years older than me, and had a younger brother, Robert, who was my same age. I recently saw Robert at my 20th high school reunion. We spent about and 1/2 an hour chatting and catching up. I asked him how Sandy's children were doing, and he showed me pictures. I found it fitting that her daughter, who is now 8 years old, is the spitting image of Sandy. She's going to be a great beauty. Sandy's son, who is 7, looks exactly like Sandy's husband, Tony. I couldn't bring myself to ask Robert about Tony. I've often wondered about him over the years. He was absolutely devastated at her funeral. He did not hide his grief and my heart broke for him. Sandy and Tony were only married a short time. They married when she was pregnant with Megan. Despite the babies, I'm sure they were still in the honeymoon phase of their marriage. I believe this because the last time I saw Sandy, she was wondering if she was pregnant again. I laughed because I was like, "GEEZ! Is that ALL you and Tony do???" It makes me smile to think of how we laughed about that.

Even though Robert and I knew each other in high school, Sandy and I were not friends at that time. Our friendship blossomed when we were in college. We both had joined the same sorority, and we became sisters. (ALPHA DELTA PI...represent, bitches!) Sandy lived in my neighborhood, so we started going to sorority meetings and events together. I would always make her laugh because of my bitchiness (I prefer to call it my joie de vivre) and she would infuriate me because she was never on time (a pet peeve of mine).

When I say that Sandy was a beautiful person, I mean she was beautiful inside and out. Husband used to joke that out of all my friends, Sandy was the one he'd most want to have sex with (maybe an inappropriate comment to make here, but I'm just trying to provide a measuring stick!). Besides the outer beauty, she was also beautiful on the inside. Her joyfulness radiated out of her. Her smile could melt ice cubes. Her laugh was one of the cutest things ever. But most of all, her friendship was priceless.

I miss her very much and I hope that she knew how much I valued her friendship and loved her.

1 comment:

Laura Kinker said...

i miss sandy, too. i can't believe it's been that long. wow. i truly hope her husband has been able to find some peace.