Monday, September 14, 2009

Know Who I Love?

Sandra Bernhard, that’s who.

What I like about Ms. Bernhard is her in-your-face attitude. I don’t know if she has this attitude because she’s Jewish, because she’s a lesbian, or because her father was a proctologist and her mother was an artist. Or maybe it’s just because, for no reason at all. Either way, I must admit, whenever I see her on TV or hear her on the radio (I was reminded I was a fan last Thursday morning when she was in studio on the Howard Stern Show), I’m riveted. I can’t get enough of her and her brash behavior. I wish I could be more like her, and just say to people what I really think and never hesitate before stating an opinion. I wish I could call people “Honey” in that nasally, Jewish/New York/whatever accent she uses and just go with the flow.

Every appearance she has on Howard’s show, Ms. Bernhard divulges some hilarious and juicy secret. On a past appearance, she told Howard (and his audience) how she dated Jay Leno in the 70s, when they both were comics and how she slept with him several times. According to Ms. Bernhard, Mr. Leno has a huge penis (Howard was extremely dismayed to hear this), and enjoys bondage. You can’t picture it, can you? Ms. Bernhard says she let Jay tie her up a few times. Now we know why she was banned from The Tonight Show!

This most recent appearance, she told how she had a threesome with her girlfriend and another man. Howard, being the gifted interviewer that he is, got Ms. Bernhard to admit who the man was, and it was Howard’s friend, Ralph. Don’t know if you listen to his show or not, but this revelation caused quite the stir among the show staff. She described the evening, and it was filled with naughty stories and hilarious bits of sexy madness. I’m still laughing about it because Ms. Bernhard went right with the flow and answered everything Howard could think to ask. Her honesty about her sexual romp was so funny and interesting and shocking…I wish I could be that honest.

Even though I write this blog anonymously, there are still many parts of my life no one really knows about. I probably do not write about them because several of my friends read this, and even they don’t know everything. There are still secrets I am sure all of us keep inside, deep in the dark recesses of our hearts and minds. I guess my love for Ms. Bernhard can be summed up with this: I admire her honesty, her open attitude and her willingness to just let it all hang out. I’m sure she still has secrets, and I bet they are quite the doozies. But damn, girl. I wish I could just dip my toes into the pool of complete honesty like you do. Bravo!


Tennyson ee Hemingway said...

Careful, dipping the toe into the honesty pool can be very enervating but you might find it hard to get it out again.

Proud Maisie said...

If she is not adverse to a spot of bondage, the gal's alright.
Personally, I have a very "colourful" life on London's fetish scene, and have done things that many would find absolutely shocking. And I don't hide any of it. Life is easier that way, the people who try to keep things secret seem to end up causing themselves more worry - they are always wondering if they might be discovered.
Despite this, there are parts of my mind that I do keep just for me. Not because I am afraid of how people will react, but because everybody needs to retain a little of themselves.

mysterg said...

It's easy to say you don't care what other people think but honesty is harder in practice I find...whilst I pride myself on my honesty, sometimes I find it best to say nothing at all.

MyTruth0812 said...

Tennyson: Exactly why I don't dip my toes in the honesty pool too far.

Maisie: You make a good point. I suppose some things should be kept for myself. I hadn't thought of it that way.

mysterg: I'm sure most of us are never 100% honest with 100% of everything. Could you imagine? Chaos would reign!