My Obsessions This Week

1)  Adam Levine.  Now before you get all "he's a douche" on me -- I also think this.  I really don't like him as a person, considering everything I've heard about him in the press.  He seems conceited, arrogant, and in a much-ado-about-nothing, he's not even THAT attractive.  At least not in a dreamy, Simon Baker sort of way.  But I love his voice.  That's my problem this week.  I've seen Maroon 5 in concert and I love their music (don't hate).  I love Adam Levine's voice, and think he writes songs that are sexy.  UGH. 

2)  Shopping on QVC.  QVC is my goddam downfall.  Everytime I switch that fucking channel on, I buy something.  I have a love-hate relationship with buying items on QVC.  I love it because of the things I've purchased, most of them are fabulous.  I hate it because considering the shipping costs, I don't think shopping through my television is the most cost-effective way to shop.  BUT IT'S SO CONVENIENT.  Damn you, QVC (and your cheap-slutty-sister, HSN.)

3)  Being unfriended on Facebook.  In the last week, I've realized that two of my "friends" unfriended me on Facebook.  Thinking about the friendships (one was someone who I knew in high school and the other was someone I used to work with) -- the only reason I can think that I was unfriended is because I am a liberal Democrat.  Both of these "friends" are conservative, and one for sure, is a Republican (based on her support for Scott Brown in Wisconsin, where she lives).  Neither of these people were particularly close to me, but I'm still offended by the unfriending.  I mean, I consider myself an open-minded person, and therefore, I put up with posts on Facebook that I do not agree with.  I believe in freedom of speech, even if it means some shithead is posting about their love of all things Mitt Romney (or Sarah Palin, or Newt, or whoever).  I guess I shouldn't be surprised by some tight-ass Republican is so offended by my posts that they passive-agressively unfriended me, but I am.  *sigh*  Maybe now that I talked about it, I will be less offended.

4)  Being motivated.  Or I should say, my obession this week is my lack of motivation.  I'm trying to push myself to muster up all the motivation I can to want to get more clients, but I'm feeling very lazy and am finding it so difficult to even WANT to do something.  I am blaming this on the fact that it is summertime, and that I've been focusing on spending time with Daughter, but seriously.  She starts school in two weeks and I best be getting my shit together in a MAJOR WAY otherwise, Husband is going to be riding my ass like you wouldn't believe. 

So what are your obsessions this week?

Happy Birthday to Me

Another year has come and gone.  Hip-hip-hooray!  Yesterday was my latest-and-not-the-greatest birthday, but it was still a birthday, nonetheless.

It is pretentious that I am wishing myself a "Happy Birthday"?  That was a rhetorical question, but if you answered "yes", then you can stick it, mainly because it's my blog, and if I want to toot my own horn, dammit...TOOT TOOT!

In case you're wondering what I did for my birthday, I really didn't do much of anything.  I asked Husband for a puppy for my Birthday -- and if I sound like a 10-year-old asking for a puppy, again, you can stick it because I'm dying for a pet.  Specifically, I asked for a dauschund.  I'm dying to be a dauschund owner.  See that puppy right there?  He's the one I want, and I would name him August (yes, I have a name picked out.)  Don't judge me.  I have been fantasizing about this damn dog for a long time.

Mainly, what I did for my birthday was spend time with Daughter and Husband.  We went out to eat and had some laughs.  It was a perfectly lovely day.  I appreciated the time I got to spend with my family, and was thankful I saw another year come and go.

As far as presents?  Well, I didn't really get a gift from Husband -- we were supposed to go to the mall at some point in the day, since he told me we could go and I could "buy whatever I wanted".  But a nap called my name yesterday afternoon, and the mall closed at 6:00 p.m.  Which mean that today -- I went to the mall and bought whatever I wanted...which ended up being a beautiful Coach purse and matching wallet.  In case you didn't know, I love, love, LOVE, purses and specifically, Coach purses.  So I added a new baby to my collection.  She's a beauty, too.  Can't wait for Fall so I can break out the new purse.  Ooohhh, la, la!

Rants, Rants, and More Rants

Ok, before I go on this little rant, I will qualify it by saying I really love my daughter.  She has provided me with so many happy moments, so many that I can't even count them.  However, as much as I love her, she annoys the fuck out of me sometimes.  And for your reading enjoyment, here are some of those times (along with other annoying things):

1)  When she leaves the cap off the toothpaste EVERY FUCKING DAY.  I have to constantly remind her to put the cap back on.  Every goddam day, there is the little white cap on the bathroom counter, almost mocking me.  You might tell me to buy a flip-top tube of toothpaste to solve this problem, however, she would leave the flip-top flipped up, thus not solving my original issue with leaving the cap off....which is, there are a billion fucking germs in the bathroom and if I can avoid a few of those germs by replacing the cap, by all means, I'm going to replace the cap.  Nevermind all of the hair and whatever else tidbits there are to get stuck on the toothpaste when the cap is off.  Fuckin' A.  Put the cap on.

2)  When she is getting ready to go to bed and goes pee for the final time, she takes off her clothes and leaves them on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet.  WHAT THE FUCK?  Again, I have to remind her to pick them up.  This grates me fucking nerves like you wouldn't believe.  It's just a simple matter of picking up after yourself.  I mean, I'm not exactly OCD about keeping my house clean, but I certainly don't leave clothes all over the goddam house.

3)  How my daughter doesn't care what her hair looks like.  She keeps her hair long, like down the middle of her back.  She doesn't want to cut it and likes having long hair.  You'd think that because this the case, she'd take a brush to it once in a while.  But, nope.  I send her off to school or wherever, and when she comes home, it looks like she rolled around on the ground a few times or stuck her hair in a light socket.  I know I shouldn't care as much as I do, but sonafabitch.  I don't want her looking like a homeless child.  Brush your goddam hair and give a fuck once in a while.  Because if you don't, I'm going to have someone cut it short and then it won't matter (I wouldn't do this, but don't think I haven't thought about it.)

And finally, just when you think that the only person in my house that annoys me is my child, here's a little rant about the Husband:

4)  When my husband takes off his socks for the day, he leaves them balled up in a little ball instead of keeping them puffed out (or whatever you call it).  Like each individual sock is its own ball.  I get so irritated when I do the laundry and there are all these little sock balls that never really get clean.  It's gross and it's annoying.  Take the half a second and make sure your socks are right-side-in and fully stretched out.  Unless you don't care about clean socks.  Then by all means, continue to ball them up. 

Thank you for letting me get this off my chest.  Between sock balls and orphaned toothpaste caps, I think I'm going to blow a nut around here sometimes.  I know I shouldn't "sweat the small stuff" but seriously.  It's the small stuff that makes me crazy.

Grammar Lesson of the Week

This week's grammar lesson concerns the difference between their, there, and they're.  I was reminded of this little problem when viewing the status of one of my friends on Facebook:

"I love the commercial that tells me how great england national healthcare is. then you find out it is the U.S.A. sending them there. quipment. to help save the preemie babies. if we get rid of our healthcare who is going to send us quipment. just saying"

Now, besides the obvious spelling errors ("quipment"), and the error of not capitalizing "england", my friend here (who, by the way, is a 42-year-old man) is trying to say the USA is sending equipment to England to help save the English preemie babies.  As you can see, he says "then you find out it is the U.S.A. sending them there quipment", when he really means THEIR EQUIPMENT.

Here are the proper definitions of there, their, and they're:

There (adverb):  in or on that place (such as "over there")
Their (adjective):  of or relating to them or themselves especially as possessors, agents, or objects of an action (such as "their furniture" or THEIR EQUIPMENT)
They're:  this is a contraction of "they are"

You're welcome.  Now, if only I could help my friend on Facebook from further humiliation in his grammar and spelling.  I would kill him if he was my husband (even though I'm sure he's a nice person).  Especially considering English is his FIRST FUCKING LANGUAGE.

Grammar Lesson of the Week

I was an English major in college.  Therefore, grammar (and its brother, correct spelling) are very important to me.  Recently, I was reminded of one of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to grammar:  the possessive apostrophe.  It is a relatively simple rule, but I believe it is mystifying to many, many people.

When showing a possessive form of a singular noun, it is proper to use an apostrophe before the "s". 

Examples:

Michael's car (not Michaels car, or Michaels' car)
a hard day's work
the basket's handle

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, SHOULD YOU USE AN APOSTROPHE TO SHOW THE PLURAL OF A NOUN.  Such as here:

Whenever I see mistakes like the ones above, I die a little inside.  Now, go forth and use apostrophes appropriately!  You're welcome.  

My Obsessions This Week

Here are just a few things that have been obsessed with this week:

1)  Simon Baker and "The Mentalist".  I have only just recently discovered this TV show due to some serious marathons on TNT.  About 3 times a week, "The Mentalist" is on TNT for HOURS.  I not only love the show, I am in love with Simon Baker and his adorable curly blonde locks AND his great smile.  I mean seriously, how fucking cute is he????

2)   For my sandwiches, I love, love love, Marconi's HOT Giardiniera.  It's a mixture of peppers, carrots, cauliflower, celery, and only God knows what else.  It sets my mouth on fire, but I've put it on the 6 sandwiches I've eaten in the last few days and I swear I've eaten half the jar.  So good.  The downside of loving this sandwich topping (actually, it's probably more of a submarine sandwich topping, but whatever) is that I can only find the "hot" version at one local store and half the time when I shop there, they are out of it.  Which means everytime I see it, I buy at least 2 jars, because --heaven forbid-- I'm caught without some in my refridgerator.

3)  Detroit Tigers baseball, namely Miguel Cabrera.  "Who's Your Tiger?"  Fucking Miguel Cabrera is, that's who.  And I'm not alone, I'm sure.  This guy is amazing.  Sometimes he's the only good thing to watch in the game, although, I must admit, the Tigers are doing pretty good as of late (except for that last stretch of games with Boston, but I digress).  And Miguel Cabrera is one of the many reasons why they are doing well.  Go Miggy, Go Miggy!

4)  Things I am sick of hearing about this week:  Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson; Ryan Lochte (I mean he ain't THAT cute, y'all); Michael Jackson's family's family fued (can anyone say "cray cray"?); everyone complaining about the weather (look, it's summertime and it's hot.  I realize that the temperatures are insane, but I would take a 99-degree day over 12-inches of snow.  And this is from someone who's last electric bill was $560.01.) 

What are you obsessed with this week?  Or tired of hearing about?

I'm Back, Bitches!

I've been away from this blog for almost two years...I've neglected it and neglected the few readers I had.  Recently, a close friend asked if I still wrote in my blog.  After telling her that no, I didn't anymore, she told me I should because she enjoyed it.  That got me thinking about the reasons why I stopped blogging.  The main reason was that I really didn't have the time.  I was working at a small law firm and I was working 10-12 hour days, and by the time I got home from work, I really didn't have the energy. 

So in order to save me and you some time, here's what you missed since my last post:

• I quit that horrible job at the small law firm, and now I work for myself as a solo attorney
• I work from home, and since I do not have many clients (yet), I spend a lot of time playing housewife, maid, and mommy to my soon-to-be-10-year-old daughter (time flies!)
• The Husband has changed jobs and now works the afternoon shift, so I barely see him (yes, I'm still married)
• I have gotten my meds adjusted, so maybe I won't be as angry in my posts as I was in the past (I read many of them recently, and WOW, I was A-N-G-R-Y, but still hilarious)
• One of my best friends moved to California :(
• And one of my other best friends has dropped off the face of the Earth
• I have realized how lonely working from home can be
• I also have realized I need to make more friends
• I have started seeing a therapist, and see her twice a month

Well, y'all, I think that's it.  You are not officially caught up on my life through a concise bulleted list.  Damn, those things are handy.

Hope to see you soon in the comments.