Ok, before I go on this little rant, I will qualify it by saying I really love my daughter. She has provided me with so many happy moments, so many that I can't even count them. However, as much as I love her, she annoys the fuck out of me sometimes. And for your reading enjoyment, here are some of those times (along with other annoying things):
1) When she leaves the cap off the toothpaste EVERY FUCKING DAY. I have to constantly remind her to put the cap back on. Every goddam day, there is the little white cap on the bathroom counter, almost mocking me. You might tell me to buy a flip-top tube of toothpaste to solve this problem, however, she would leave the flip-top flipped up, thus not solving my original issue with leaving the cap off....which is, there are a billion fucking germs in the bathroom and if I can avoid a few of those germs by replacing the cap, by all means, I'm going to replace the cap. Nevermind all of the hair and whatever else tidbits there are to get stuck on the toothpaste when the cap is off. Fuckin' A. Put the cap on.
2) When she is getting ready to go to bed and goes pee for the final time, she takes off her clothes and leaves them on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet. WHAT THE FUCK? Again, I have to remind her to pick them up. This grates me fucking nerves like you wouldn't believe. It's just a simple matter of picking up after yourself. I mean, I'm not exactly OCD about keeping my house clean, but I certainly don't leave clothes all over the goddam house.
3) How my daughter doesn't care what her hair looks like. She keeps her hair long, like down the middle of her back. She doesn't want to cut it and likes having long hair. You'd think that because this the case, she'd take a brush to it once in a while. But, nope. I send her off to school or wherever, and when she comes home, it looks like she rolled around on the ground a few times or stuck her hair in a light socket. I know I shouldn't care as much as I do, but sonafabitch. I don't want her looking like a homeless child. Brush your goddam hair and give a fuck once in a while. Because if you don't, I'm going to have someone cut it short and then it won't matter (I wouldn't do this, but don't think I haven't thought about it.)
And finally, just when you think that the only person in my house that annoys me is my child, here's a little rant about the Husband:
4) When my husband takes off his socks for the day, he leaves them balled up in a little ball instead of keeping them puffed out (or whatever you call it). Like each individual sock is its own ball. I get so irritated when I do the laundry and there are all these little sock balls that never really get clean. It's gross and it's annoying. Take the half a second and make sure your socks are right-side-in and fully stretched out. Unless you don't care about clean socks. Then by all means, continue to ball them up.
Thank you for letting me get this off my chest. Between sock balls and orphaned toothpaste caps, I think I'm going to blow a nut around here sometimes. I know I shouldn't "sweat the small stuff" but seriously. It's the small stuff that makes me crazy.