Monday, August 27, 2012

Grammar Lesson of the Week*

*Today's lesson is regarding the pronunciation of some of the wonderful words found in our language, and is not necessarily related to a definite grammar rule.
1)  Specific.  Say it with me, "SPA-SI-FICK".  Specific.  The definition of which is "definite or exact."  It's not pronounced "pacific", like in the Pacific Ocean.  There is a "S" before the "pacific" part of the word.
2)  Sword.  Say it with me, "S-ORD".  Sword.  The "W" is silent.  And you should be too, if you're going to pronounce the "W".  You look like a dipshit.

3)  Salmon.  Say it with me, "SAM-MON".  Salmon.  Like "sword", this word has a silent letter.  It's not "SAL-MON" it's "SAM-MON".  Is English your first language?  Because if it is, you should know better, or at the very least, get out the fucking dictionary and learn to pronounce words properly.
4)  Escape.  Say it with me, "ES-CAPE".  Escape.  It's not "EX-cape".  There's no "ex" sound in it.  Please take an English class if you keep misprouncing these words.  Please for the love of everything that is holy.
And for #5, we have one that is near and dear to my heart:
Alzheimer's.  Say it with me, people:  "ALLS-HEIMERS".  Not "al-timers" or any other butchering of this word.  It is near and dear to my heart because my mother mispronounces this word EVERY CHANCE SHE GETS.  I've even corrected her numerous times.  And when I say "numerous" I mean more than I can count, and she CONTINUES TO MISPRONOUNCE THIS MOTHER-FUCKING WORD.  Am I bothered by it?  What do you think?


kim said...

My biggest pet peeves in this regard...

people saying "irregardless." it's not even a fucking word.

"axe" instead of "ask." come on now.

"liberry" instead of library. and oddly, there's a woman who works here AT THE LIBRARY that says "liberry." I mean, come on.

MyTruth0812 said...

The "liberry" one gets me too. I can't even imagine if I ran into your Liberry Woman and overheard her -- how long before I'm head would explode? Yeah, not long at all. Good Heavens.