Ode to August

It’s that time of year again…tomorrow is the first day of August. August means a lot of different things to me, but most importantly, my birthday is in August and August means summer is almost over. Both a beginning and an end for me, August always makes me feel reflective.

As a beginning – the beginning of another year of life for me – always makes me reflective on the year that has passed. Last year, at this time I was unemployed, was pretty sure I had bombed the Bar exam (I did) and I didn’t have a whole lot to look forward to. I was wallowing in depression and self-pity and I wasn’t looking forward to my birthday AT ALL (which is very unusual, as I ALWAYS look forward to my birthday because it is the day where we can all celebrate the wonderful fabulosity of me…thank you Kimora Simmons Lee for introducing me to “fabulosity”).

Looking back on this past year, I’d have to admit it’s been quite a roller-coaster ride. From unemployment came a horrendous job that I only stayed at because I had to find a way to pay for Christmas. Thank goodness my current job came around because I didn’t know how much longer I could have stayed at my last job before I was going to lose it.

At the end of 2008 I was also very scared Husband was going to (possibly) lose his job with Ford. I was literally terrified. I was upset with President Bush, I was upset with republicans, I was upset with people who drove around the Detroit area in foreign cars…I was just upset. Upset and terrified I'd lose my house and have to move in with my in-laws *shudder*...kidding. They're actually really nice people and maybe I could have finally learned how to cook food Husband will eat (unforch, I only know how to cook "American" food even though we're all fucking Americans...ok, I digress. Obviously another topic for another day.) Anyhoo, looking back, I can say that I am so thankful he didn’t lose his job and thankful that Ford didn’t need the bailout money. And while my retirement savings were severely depleted thanks to cashing out ½ of my 401(k) to pay down lots of debt after my stint at being unemployed (Suze Ormond would maybe have kicked my ass for that), I still know that we are in a better place than lots of people. I still have my house, I still drive a nice car (a FORD thankyouverymuch), Daughter can still get a new Wii game every once in a while, and I can still go apeshit at the Coach outlet (within reason). *whew*

I am hoping that this next birthday brings me lots of joy and happiness. I can’t say I’m happy with turning 38, but age is only a number, right? How come when you’re a kid, people in their 30s+ seemed so OLD? I don’t feel “old” or “middle-aged”, although as Husband quite eloquently put it a few weeks ago, we are probably close to be ½-way done with our lives. Dammit. And I haven’t even gotten the hang of it yet.

Besides the birthday thing, August also is signaling the end of summer. This summer sort of blew, because we really haven’t had “summer” weather all that much. The days have been on the cool side, lots more days in the 70s and low 80s, than in the 90s. While I’m not complaining (even though it would seem like it) because I love sunny days in the 70s, it’s been too cool for the lakes to warm up or for daughter to spend a lot of time in the pool (no I don’t have one, but one of Husband’s uncles does and last year she LIVED in that pool). I don’t have much of a tan (skin cancer be dammed!). On the bright side however, my electric bill has been reasonable because we haven’t had to turn on the central air everyday – and that’s kind of nice because I love having the windows open on a cool night.

I’m sad that summer is nearly over because that also means Daughter goes back to school. I know lots of parents look forward to getting rid of their kids once the school year begins again, but I don’t feel that way. Daughter is a kid who certainly wears me out with all of her chatter and her desperate need to be the center of attention (the only-child syndrome, I suppose), but even when I can’t hear myself think because she’s blabbing on about Spiderman, or Spongebob, or some Wii game, or some new iCarly episode (it's on Nickelodeon and actually isn't half bad) – I enjoy spending time with her because I’m her best friend. I know the day is going to come where she’s going to prefer talking and being with her friends over me, and that day is going to break my heart. In the meantime, I just try to cherish this time and somehow dig deep and learn to really give a shit about iCarly, Spongebob, Wii Games and Spiderman.

Even though it’s a little early, I’m going to say goodbye to my 37th year. Can’t say it was all bad, can’t say it was all good. BUT, I’m not going to say goodbye to summertime just yet. Like Daughter, I’m just going to try and enjoy the time we have together and not worry too much about what’s around the corner.

I'm Back, Bitches!

I’m back from my big trip to Lansing to take the Bar exam. One thing worth noting, I was feeling so good about it was almost like I was riding around on a cloud for the two days I was there. Needless to say, since I am feeling so good about it, I’ve decided that there must be some cosmic reason for the positivity. I won’t know for sure until November, but I am thinking that I must have passed it this time. Looks like God may have heard my prayer after all.

My trip started out with the nearly 2 hour drive to Lansing from home. There was a point along the trip where I was thinking to myself, “It sure would be nice if there was an outlet mall along the way that had a Coach store.” I was thinking this #1) because I love purses, namely, Coach purses and fantasizing about them makes me all warm and fuzzy and #2) I’m an incredible shop-aholic and shopping always makes me feel good. Especially when I’m shopping for a Coach bag.

Funny enough, about 5-10 minutes after having that thought, I saw a billboard advertising an OUTLET MALL AT THE NEXT EXIT THAT HAD A COACH STORE! FUCKIN-A! So y’all know I stopped, right? And y’all know I overshopped and am now the proud mama to not one new Coach handbag, not two bouncing-baby Coach handbags…but THREE brand-new, leather-smelling Coach handbags! HELLYES! And a wallet and turtle keychain to boot. Husband has no idea about my little shopping spree, but goddam it, my birthday is in thirteen days, I’ve had a fucked-up year and I was just getting ready to take the Bar exam for the fourth time. I deserved a little Coach-lovin’. Because nothing puts a smile on my face longer and faster than a Coach outlet store that has shelves and shelves of markdowns. I nearly passed out IN THE STORE with five handbags on my arm from the excitement.

As you can see, The Lansing Trip started off with a bang and it never got bad for me. Riding my Coach high, I went into the test determined to make it my bitch. Here’s hoping I did just that…and if not, at least I can stop at the Coach outlet on trip number five!

Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret...

Dear God,

I know there are starving children in the world and probably a lot of people out there who are more in need of your help than me, but I figured I would put in my request now, to give you a few days to mull it over and decide whether or not you'd like to grant my prayer or not. You know, it's not super-urgent, but maybe you could assign it "yellow" status like the Department of Homeland Security does regarding terror threats. Just trying to help you prioritize...

As you already know, next week is my fourth attempt at the Bar exam. I figure you already know this being all-seeing-all-knowing and everything. And considering all of the Catholic candle-lighting Husband did earlier this year...I figured you must have gotten the hint or whatever. Now I know you have an ultimate plan for all of us, and you make your decisions for reasons I may not understand. I know you don't owe me any kind of explaination. I get it. But seriously...could you see to it that my brain remembers everything I've tried to cram into it over the last few months (again), and allow me to keep my cool and not have to take 2 Xanax before the exam because I'm freaking out, and could you also help me write fast and concise, not be tricked into picking the wrong answer on the multiple choice exam, and...this one is the most important...PLEASE LET ME PASS SO I CAN MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE? Please, God?

Oh, and if I could win the Mega Millions too, sometime soon, preferably, that would be cool. I promise to give a bunch of it to charity. Really. So, you know -- either that or the Bar exam thing. I'd settle for either one.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

My BFF Shannon, recently got her seven-year-old daughter a cell phone. Now, regardless of what you think about this decision -- fact is, the kid has a cell phone and that's that. I spent some time with her daughter over the 4th of July weekend, and she’s a nice kid. She’s just like every other 7-year-old, and having a cell phone hasn’t made her obnoxious or anything. The only negative I can find from it is now Daughter wants a cell phone too. UM…AIN’T HAPPENING. The kid loses everything (including her glasses while she's in the house) on a daily basis, so I know she’s not ready. Plus, who does she need to call anyway? No one, that’s who. Shannon and her babydaddy don’t live together, so I sort of see why she gave her the phone. Two households and whatever.

But the point of my story is that kids are funny sometimes. And they latch onto technology like a duck goes to water. Case in point. Shannon’s daughter was recently at her father’s house, and was in the bathroom dropping a deuce. Because she’s only 7, she sometimes needs help with the wiping. So instead of calling her dad to come and help her wipe – SHE TEXTED HIM. She texted “come wipe my butt”. HILARIOUS, right?

Awards Coming Out the Waa-Zoo

Kylie over at Random Thoughts gave me and a bunch of other really kickass bloggers some awards and I'm a little (read: a lot) late in recognizing them here. So without any further nonsense, here we go:

Award #1: The Adorable Blog Award!

Rules: Include the award logo in your blog or post. Nominate as many blogs which you like. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog. Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award.

Award #2: The Lemonade Stand!

Rules: There wasn't really any rules with this one so I'm just going to thank Kylie and move on!

Award #3: The Awe-Summm Award!
Rules: I am supposed to list seven awe-summm things about myself and tag seven awe-summm bloggers. So here goes:

1. I’m wicked funny and I can make most people laugh with my dry and sarcastic demeanor.

2. I tend to live in the moment and try not to let things I cannot change bother me (which irritates Husband to no end – he interprets this behavior as me not caring about things, but I use it to live relatively stress-free, so I consider it awesome)

3. I try to give Daughter a positive body image along with trying to give her the message that being a girl rocks the house (as I’ve told her many times, girls are better than boys, because not only can girls do anything a boy can, but we also can have babies!) No offense to any male readers out there! You guys rock too, but just not as much :)

4. I am the Queen of the BBQ. I do all the grilling at our house, which I know some guys would consider to be a major offense. (I think he’s just lazy and would rather I cooked EVERYTHING – except, of course, spaghetti sauce.)

5. I have an uncanny ability to remember lyrics, artists and song titles of LOTS of 80s songs.
Play me a bit of a song and I can usually name it. I remember Scritti Politti, Alphaville, Baltimora, Johnny Hates Jazz…yeah. I know. Sad.

6. I once wrote a term paper in my persuasive writing class in college about the death of Marilyn Monroe. While everyone else wrote about abortion and gun control, I argued her death wasn’t a suicide and blamed it on the mob, the Kennedys, or an accidental overdose. I got an “A” probably because my professor was thrilled as a pig in shit that she didn’t have to read another boring topic. It was fun to research that one!

7. I consider my friends to be like my family and cherish them very much.

Award #4: The Sexy Blogger Award! (About Time someone recognized this in me! :))


Rules: I am supposed to list five sexy things about me. OK, here goes:

1. I have naturally curly hair and green eyes.

2. I take good care of my skin by using moisturizers and exfoliating on a regular basis so it’s soft to the touch.

3. I make sure that if I am wearing shoes where my toes or heels are showing, that I have polished my toenails and moisturized my feet. No one wants to see funky toes and dry-ass heels. No one.

4. I am a Pure Romance consultant, so I have a readily available stock of “relationship enhancers” on hand at all times. (If you need anything, let me know!)

5. I’m open minded. I’ve pretty much tried everything on my sexual to-do list. Give or take one or two things.

Well, there you have it. Now I need to pass the love on like an STD at a frat party (Thanks Kim, for that one!)

My nominees are (in no paticular order)....drumroll....(and while it is an honor just to be nominated (bullshit), you're all winners in my book)

Dr. Jay SW at Yoga for Cynics

Maxie at i hate so much

LiLu at Live It, Love It

Mandy at Sassy Little Ginger

Lisa at Lemon Gloria

Jolee at Jolee724

Check out these blogs, y'all. Promise you'll grow to love them like they were your children! Promise! And thanks again to Kylie for being a fan of my blog!