Friday, July 31, 2009

Ode to August

It’s that time of year again…tomorrow is the first day of August. August means a lot of different things to me, but most importantly, my birthday is in August and August means summer is almost over. Both a beginning and an end for me, August always makes me feel reflective.

As a beginning – the beginning of another year of life for me – always makes me reflective on the year that has passed. Last year, at this time I was unemployed, was pretty sure I had bombed the Bar exam (I did) and I didn’t have a whole lot to look forward to. I was wallowing in depression and self-pity and I wasn’t looking forward to my birthday AT ALL (which is very unusual, as I ALWAYS look forward to my birthday because it is the day where we can all celebrate the wonderful fabulosity of me…thank you Kimora Simmons Lee for introducing me to “fabulosity”).

Looking back on this past year, I’d have to admit it’s been quite a roller-coaster ride. From unemployment came a horrendous job that I only stayed at because I had to find a way to pay for Christmas. Thank goodness my current job came around because I didn’t know how much longer I could have stayed at my last job before I was going to lose it.

At the end of 2008 I was also very scared Husband was going to (possibly) lose his job with Ford. I was literally terrified. I was upset with President Bush, I was upset with republicans, I was upset with people who drove around the Detroit area in foreign cars…I was just upset. Upset and terrified I'd lose my house and have to move in with my in-laws *shudder*...kidding. They're actually really nice people and maybe I could have finally learned how to cook food Husband will eat (unforch, I only know how to cook "American" food even though we're all fucking Americans...ok, I digress. Obviously another topic for another day.) Anyhoo, looking back, I can say that I am so thankful he didn’t lose his job and thankful that Ford didn’t need the bailout money. And while my retirement savings were severely depleted thanks to cashing out ½ of my 401(k) to pay down lots of debt after my stint at being unemployed (Suze Ormond would maybe have kicked my ass for that), I still know that we are in a better place than lots of people. I still have my house, I still drive a nice car (a FORD thankyouverymuch), Daughter can still get a new Wii game every once in a while, and I can still go apeshit at the Coach outlet (within reason). *whew*

I am hoping that this next birthday brings me lots of joy and happiness. I can’t say I’m happy with turning 38, but age is only a number, right? How come when you’re a kid, people in their 30s+ seemed so OLD? I don’t feel “old” or “middle-aged”, although as Husband quite eloquently put it a few weeks ago, we are probably close to be ½-way done with our lives. Dammit. And I haven’t even gotten the hang of it yet.

Besides the birthday thing, August also is signaling the end of summer. This summer sort of blew, because we really haven’t had “summer” weather all that much. The days have been on the cool side, lots more days in the 70s and low 80s, than in the 90s. While I’m not complaining (even though it would seem like it) because I love sunny days in the 70s, it’s been too cool for the lakes to warm up or for daughter to spend a lot of time in the pool (no I don’t have one, but one of Husband’s uncles does and last year she LIVED in that pool). I don’t have much of a tan (skin cancer be dammed!). On the bright side however, my electric bill has been reasonable because we haven’t had to turn on the central air everyday – and that’s kind of nice because I love having the windows open on a cool night.

I’m sad that summer is nearly over because that also means Daughter goes back to school. I know lots of parents look forward to getting rid of their kids once the school year begins again, but I don’t feel that way. Daughter is a kid who certainly wears me out with all of her chatter and her desperate need to be the center of attention (the only-child syndrome, I suppose), but even when I can’t hear myself think because she’s blabbing on about Spiderman, or Spongebob, or some Wii game, or some new iCarly episode (it's on Nickelodeon and actually isn't half bad) – I enjoy spending time with her because I’m her best friend. I know the day is going to come where she’s going to prefer talking and being with her friends over me, and that day is going to break my heart. In the meantime, I just try to cherish this time and somehow dig deep and learn to really give a shit about iCarly, Spongebob, Wii Games and Spiderman.

Even though it’s a little early, I’m going to say goodbye to my 37th year. Can’t say it was all bad, can’t say it was all good. BUT, I’m not going to say goodbye to summertime just yet. Like Daughter, I’m just going to try and enjoy the time we have together and not worry too much about what’s around the corner.

4 comments:

LiLu said...

That IS a helluva roller coaster. Just don't forget, you don't get a birthDAY... you get a birthWEEK. :-)

mytruth1118 said...

wow! Thanks for reminding me that I also have a b-day coming up in a few months. Happy Birthday (early) and since you have an only child I have a feeling that she will cling to you for many, many, more years. My daugther would rather hang out with me than her friends and thankfully she hasn't started to like boys yet...let's hope she puts that off for a while....she is starting 7th grade!

perfectlycursedlife said...

You have had a hellish year, and saying goodbye to it early is probably a good idea.

MyTruth0812 said...

LiLu: Definitely working on the BirthWEEK. Hell, I'm going to stretch it out as long as possible!

Jen: I'm so glad you said that about Ashley. I hope it is the same for me.

Kim: Thank you for reaffirming my decision. This year was quite hellish. Thank God for all my friends! (Oh and the anti-depressants...LOL)