Monday, August 17, 2009

My Birthday Blew Fat-Ass Chunks (Mostly)

Here are the things that sucked about my birthday:

Husband bought me lame gifts. For the record, it was a video game (which I never play) and some body lotion from Bath and Body Works. It wasn't even a gift set, they were two random aromatherapy scents.

The karaoke celebration I had planned, ended abruptly at 11pm when Shannon wanted to leave. She wanted to leave because there was a guy a the bar hitting on her and she didn't want him hanging around her all night. They exchanged numbers and whatever. She acted weird on the ride home and I discovered she had taken several Xanax earlier in the night which accounted for her weird behavior. Oh, and I had to pay for my own drinks because she was broke. Which, I'm sorry if I sound like a bitch -- then we should not have gone out and waited until you could pay the $15 for my drinks. I'm a lightweight, and after 3 drinks, I'm flying high, so it's not like I'm going to break the bank when it comes to footing my bar tab. And in Shannon's defense, she did give me a really kick-ass birthday present, so it's not all bad. But who goes home from the bar at 11??? I was expecting to get Shit-Faced and stroll in at 3am.

I had to work on my birthday.

I didn't get laid. Um...not that I wanted to. Just saying.

Here are the things that were relatively great when it came to my Birthday:

My mom called me and actually sang "Happy Birthday" to me on my way to work. It was cute.

I got a birthday card in the mail from Laura on my Birthday. Thanks for remembering and being a great friend, girl.

Daughter made me a birthday card. When you opened it, it said "I (heart) U Mommy". Best birthday card ever.

The aromatherapy scented lotion from Husband were the "Sleep" scent, and the "Sensual" scents. Which I realized were pretty thoughtful because he knows I love to sleep and sometimes have a hard time falling asleep/staying asleep, and well, the "Sensual" I can only guess was for him. *wink*

The video game was for "Harvey Birdman: Attorney-at-law" which was a really funny cartoon on the Cartoon Network about a very inept attorney. *insert bad lawyer joke here*


I also made a Birthday Resolution this year: I've decided to start lying about my age. I have a very young looking face and now is the time to capitalize on it. So from now on, I'm 32. I decided shaving 6 years off was realistic. And fuck off if you don't think so...let me have my mid-life crisis in fantasyland. It's not like I'm going to get a 25-year-old boyfriend, divorce my husband, and start driving a sports car or something? Right? Right?


Dr. Jay SW said...

I used to have a friend who outdid your friend Shannon--took me out to dinner for my birthday but turned out not to have any money, meaning I had to pay for both of us...

mysterg said...

Happy Birthday! And I agree, everyone should get laid on their birthday - isn't that like a constitutional right or something?!

MyTruth0812 said...

Dr. Jay: Agreed. YOur friend definitely outdid Shannon. Although, I could see that happening!

mysterg: If it's not a constitutional right, it should be! I thought if you were in a couple, birthday sex was part of the obligation...???

mytruth1118 said...

Hey at least your actually took the time to buy you gifts. My husband goes the day before or day of my birthday and gets me a fucking gift card! He claims he has no time...really...well i have time to take my ass to the store and buy him a gift! my only consolation is that I don't get shitty gifts and I get to buy what i want....but then again it's the thought that counts right?

mytruth1118 said...

oh yeah and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Anonymous said...

I'm a horrible blogger friend. Happy belated Birthday!!! :)