Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Girls Gone Wild and The Gays

I’ve never understood the appeal of the “Girls Gone Wild” DVDs advertised on late-night television. I thought they were a bit pathetic actually – in that there’s nothing more going on in these DVDs than a bunch of young girls (usually 18-22 years old) in various stages of undress, and maybe, MAYBE you get a couple of them kissing each other. Or taking a shower, or some other bullshit like that. To me, these DVDs are not sexy at all. Who wants to watch a bunch of immature girls taking off their bras, or sitting in a tub, or rolling around on a bed? Zzzzzzz….snore…..

Fast forward to this weekend. I was flipping through the channels of our cable TV provider. I was venturing into channels I never watch…meaning those past channel 125. I was going through the menu, when I came across a show that was featuring a bunch of stand-up comedians. After watching the channel for a few minutes, I realized I stumbled across the LOGO channel. If you’ve never heard of it, I assume the target audience is the LGBT community. All of the comedians were gay, and one was a transsexual (female to male, pre-op). He was really very cute (does that make me gay?) and they were all very funny. Especially, the half-Japanese woman who referred to the “Gaysians” and did a rap that included references to her “Hello Kitty” underwear. (I find stereotypical humor hilarious.)

So right about now, you’re asking yourself how the “Girls Gone Wild” videos are related to me watching the LOGO channel? Well, it all has to do with the commercial I was bombarded with on every commercial break. It was the one for the “Guys Gone Wild” DVDs!

And guess who, for a brief moment, wanted to order them?

Yep, you guess it. ME. Why?

Because those guys were fucking hot. And who doesn’t want to watch a bunch of young, well-muscled men rolling around on a bed or doing push-ups, or flexing their muscles while taking off their shirts?  With their young faces and young bodies?  I mean, what’s wrong with that?  I couldn't decide which video I wanted to see first -- the "Beach Bums", the "Bad Boys" or the "6-Pack Abs".  Hmmmm.  Decisions, decisions.

Yeah. Call me a Hyopcrite. I deserve it. (((me blushing))))

The funniest thing about all of this wasn’t the realization that I am a gay man trapped in a woman’s body. No, I already knew that. It was that both of these DVDs are obviously marketed to men (although the “Guys Gone Wild” people should really find a way to market their DVDs to sexually frustrated women in their late 30s. They’d probably make an assload of cash. Just saying.)

4 comments:

Jodey/Fat Chick Biker said...

Shit. You ain't kiddin' 'bout marketing to the 30's crowd.

I like stereotype humor too - it's funny as hell. I'm reading a book called Jewtopia (I'm Jewish...bet you couldn't guess that) and it's fucking hysterical.

Tennyson ee Hemingway said...

I don't know about you but, girl or guy, rolling around on a bed or taking your shirt off is hardly the definition of 'gone wild.' More like, 'going to bed for a good night's kip.'

perfectlycursedlife said...

I'd order them for the idiocy of it all but I think I'd be laughing too hard to be actually turned on by those guys.

Laura Kinker said...

omg - i've seen these (the guys gone wild) and joked that they must have been "guys gone wild" without knowing exactly what they were but am sure this was it. if you're wondering exactly how i've seen these, i dragged kurt into a gay bar one evening for their CHEAP dollar drinks (a block from our place at the time) and guess what they had on all their tvs? you guessed it - guys gone wild. kurt just stared out the window.