I have this friend on Facebook who is driving me crazy with her recent posts. Apparently, she has recently received a medical degree (or a subscription to Prevention magazine) because she has been posting little tidbits that have become The Things That Make Me Go Hmmmm...
I don't mean to be an asshole by complaining about these posts. Actually, I don't particularly care if I do sound like an asshole, because DAMMIT, this is America and this is my blog and I can say whatever the hell I please, right?
So here is a short sampling of the wealth of knowledge she has bestowed upon me (and now you). Please feel free to share with all of your Facebook family. I'm guessing someone will enjoy her public service announcements. Me? I could do without them. Or without 500 of them. Too much of a good thing pisses me off. I mean, motherfuck. The following status updates were only from the last TEN HOURS.
"Bananas contain bromelain, an enzyme thought to boost male libido. Don't like bananas? Pineapple is high in this sexy substance, too. (It even helps reduce joint pain.)" posted 59 minutes ago
"Had my yearly inspection! Now, I need to call & make my mammogram appointment with doctor's orders. Just want to remind everyone... and MAKE SURE EVERYONE GETS THEIR ANNUALS OF EVERYTHING YOU NEED CHECKED ON! MALE & FEMALE!" posted 3 hours ago
"Asparagus is an aphrodisiac. This delicious veggie is rich in vitamin E—a key nutrient for hormone building. (It's great with olive oil, garlic salt & pepper...put it in some aluminum foil and pop it in the oven or on the grill! I have this all the time.)" posted 10 hours ago
FACINATING, RIGHT? And yes, I know I have anger management problems. Why in the fuck do you think I take medication???? :)
And for the record -- I hate asparagus. Anything that makes my pee smell like something non-pee-like is not welcomed in my dietary plans.